“The universe is uncanny at serving up what we need the most, in the guise of things we fear the most.”
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"The universe is uncanny at serving up what we need the most, in the guise of things we fear the most."
A friend of mine told me this (you all know him as JB) during a private discussion regarding WSIKF. This blog will be a bit different than what I normally would write about. A little bit more personal and a bit less about Rev flying per se but related none-the-less.
I'm not prone to mind and emotion gripping panic attacks, but recent posts on the 100 kite mega-fly thread did push me over one edge, of the fence I've been sitting on, for some time regarding the Washington trip.
The thing is, I'm still not convinced a week-long festival in another country is really "my thing". I read and hear about other people's experiences that week and it sounds like fun… mostly… but a solid week? I come from the land of two day festivals. I have never flown for more than two consecutive days. I'm not sure I even want to. Yes, there is the argument that there is a lot more to see and do besides fly, but really it is almost entirely kite focused (Duh, it is a kite festival). Where is the variety for someone like me who thrives on destinations that offer many different activities (can you say Las Vegas)? How may kite vendor tents can I really look at before I get bored? How much standing on sand can I do and not have back problems later? Can I manage a 16 hour, one way, car ride? Can I live with three other people, for more than a week, in a little motel room? What if the weather is ugly that whole week and I am decidedly a fair weather flyer? What if…? What if? You get the point.
My friend Paul (Kite Cowbly) says I'm not a real "kiter" because I have such a narrow interest range in kites. I do not disagree with him. I admit freely that he is right. I can appreciate many kinds of kites, however do not feel particularly attached to watching all of them ad nauseam. No offense to anyone, I'm just into Revs. Each to his own.
Yes, the logical solution is to only go for two or three days, but to make it affordable it pretty much is an all or nothing deal so I'm faced with a tough decision. Do I go or do I stay?
So how does John's quote, really quite profound I think, play into this? I will say it has given me pause to consider the bigger picture.
Without a doubt the idea of participating in a mega-fly of any size scares me to death. I do not want to be the guy who takes out another flyer or two or three or 100 in the process. The mega-fly is not a compulsory drill for admission, but it really is hard to go there without pressure to fly in it. Say what you will, there is pressure to do this if one is there. Take that pressure, and all my other concerns about this kind of trip, and it does feel like fear. It feels easier on my nerves to just not go.
So all this preamble boils down to this for me…
Why have these negative factors (as I perceive them) added up to wanting to pull the plug on the trip? There is nothing so awful with any one aspect that, by itself, is insurmountable. What created this perfect storm? It's not like I want to feel this way over something that is fun for 99.9999% of the people there. I want to be excited, not dreading it. Is it because I'm just not as into it as everyone else?
If John is right, I wonder what the universe wants to serve me, that I need but do not recognize, that scares the hell outta me?
I felt writing this all down may ultimately help.
Bart
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